The Nose of the Law
There are many great institutions in the American Republic. Congress is one, though it has not shown signs of life in years. The railroads were another, before they learned that arriving on time was bad for business.
But among the noblest inventions of modern civilization is the police dog, an animal so well-educated that he can smell criminal ambition through two layers of denim and a bad decision.
Out in the Tahoe Reno Industrial Center, where warehouses rise from the desert like giant shoeboxes abandoned by Titans, Deputy Chino was hard at work preserving society from collapse. Chino is a K9 officer, though he likely possesses more common sense than most men holding public office.
On the twelfth day of May, under a Nevada sun hot enough to fry repentance out of a sinner, two motorists attracted the attention of the law. Nobody ever attracts the attention of the law for wholesome reasons. A man does not get pulled over because his life is proceeding admirably.
The first traveler was Jeremy Bein, aged fifty-three, who is old enough to know better and young enough to continue ignoring it. The second was Jordan Obert, thirty years old and still at the age where a man mistakes chaos for freedom.
Deputy Chino approached the vehicles with the solemn dignity of a preacher entering a saloon. He sniffed once, twice, and then gave the signal known among law officers as Well, there it is.
Now, humanity has always feared dogs for one reason above all others: you cannot bribe a canine with philosophy. A jury may get confused, politicians may get persuaded, and a newspaper reporter may occasionally lose his moral compass around election season.
Yet the dog remains stubbornly loyal to facts.
The deputies searched the vehicles and discovered 4.2 grams of methamphetamine and assorted paraphernalia. Modern journalism calls these “drug paraphernalia,” which is a polite phrase meaning “equipment dedicated to making tomorrow considerably worse than today.”
One of the gentlemen also possessed outstanding warrants, proving once again that troubles, like relatives, prefer to travel in groups.
Deputies booked Jeremy Bein on charges including possession of a controlled substance, possession of paraphernalia, and violation of release conditions. The State of Nevada has an astonishing faith in paperwork. It believes a man can find correction if enough forms are attached to him.
Jordan Obert received similar charges, though without the bonus warrants package.
The prisoners received an escort to the Storey County Detention Facility, that grand establishment where men go to reflect upon the poor quality of their planning. Jail is a place devoted entirely to hindsight.
As for Deputy Chino, he returned to duty with the calm professionalism of a creature who had done an honest day’s work. There are men in America who cannot locate their own car keys, yet this dog can uncover narcotics in the middle of a dust storm. It is difficult not to admire him.
I have long suspected that civilization survives chiefly because dogs continue to tolerate us.
